The saga continues

We just got back from the doctor to follow up with all the post hospital lab work for the husband. This was supposed to be the appointment that says "yes, you can be cleared to go back to work on Monday."

Instead we got some good news, and some bad news.

The good news: kidneys are functioning back in the normal range. Blood pressure is more or less back to normal. Most of the tests they ran came back in the normal range, so we are heading in the right direction.

The bad news: he now has an angry liver. While the kidneys are all "yep, we're feeling good again ... lets just rest for a couple more days and we can go go go" the liver has gotten a little pissy and is puffed up and muttering "fuck you and all the attention you've been getting, kidneys. Pay attention to me."

What does that mean? It means ten more days before he will be cleared for work, assuming the liver has had a chance to chill. No new meds, just more rest. He has to change his eating habits again. He's still sleeping every couple hours and has no energy. But he's starting to get antsy and actually miss work - which is saying something.

It also means we will not see a paycheck for a few more weeks. Which is just awesome as we try and play catch up after Christmas. Fingers crossed the short term disability kicks in in a somewhat timely manner, because the financial stress around here does not help his blood pressure, nor does it help my panic attacks.

Over all, it's good news, what the doctor said. He's getting better. The kidneys are working again. His blood pressure is back under control. The rest of it is just details, right?

For now, what I need from all of you lovely friends out there is some more positive mojo pointed our way. Though we can see the end of this mess, we're not quite out of it yet. Thank you again for all your love and support, it has helped tremendously!!

Waiting for the pet rock to hatch ...

The toddler has a pet rock. She calls it an egg and she is waiting for it to hatch. She is convinced it will hatch into something. She doesn't know what yet, she just keeps telling me the baby is curling up inside the egg and it will hatch soon.

She got up this morning and saw it on the kitchen counter. "Oh man! It still hasn't hatched yet!"

Then she thought for a moment and said, "I think it needs a cage, so that when it hatches it won't run away."

Daddy thought maybe a Tupperware bowl would make a nice cage. "Oh! Yes, give me all the square ones" she says. "And all the lids."

"But what can I use for it's bed?"

"And it will need something to eat when it hatches."

So here we have our new pet. In its cage. With a peanut butter cookie for a snack. She's still working on the bed.

the saga of 2013 and the failing kidneys

2013 can suck it so far. I'm just saying. Having spent the first week of the year in the hospital watching my husband suffer is not the best way to kick things off. Thankfully, looking at the bright side, we had a huge village of people who sent a lot of love and happy juju our way ... the internet is an amazing place!

Gotta love those #nosybitches. Thanks ladies!!

The fun began in our house the day after Christmas, when he came home from dinner complaining of stomach cramping. He curled up in bed with a heating pad and flu meds, and so began our journey.

Friday (28th), two days later, I had to pick him up from work because he couldn't stand up without getting dizzy, and started throwing up. Eventually we went to the ER because the stomach pain was too intense.

We all assumed it was the stomach flu. However, hindsight being what it is, he only had a low grade fever (under 101), and they didn't confirm it with a flu swab test. Once they pumped some IV into him and the headache and stomach pain and vomiting were controlled via meds, they gave him a CT scan. All looked well; they were seeing a ton of gastro pain in flu patients, so they sent us home with prescriptions for pain and anti-nausea meds and off we went.

Fast forward through a miserable weekend and a very uneventful new years eve (filled with laundry and champagne for one). Tuesday evening (new years day) we ended up back in the ER because he couldn't stand up straight, and had reached his pain tolerance (the pain meds ran out Monday morning). His dad came over to take him, I stayed home to get the kids settled. We all assumed it was just severe constipation, a side effect of the pain meds.

Then, a few hours later, I got the call that he was being admitted because his kidney's were failing and he had a severe viral infection in his upper GI. This is when we realized they hadn't done the flu swab on Friday, because when they did it on Tuesday it came back negative. Also, when he got the CT scan originally, they injected him with iodine to better see things (very normal). However, if you put iodine into a body that is dehydrated (remember, they'd given him two bags of IV), the kidneys pretty much tell your body to fuck off.

Thus began our 5 days in the hospital. Most of you know the up and down drama that entailed - one step forward, a night of vomiting followed. The kidneys were getting better with the meds, but not as fast as they liked. His blood pressure was way out of control. He was in quarantine - we had to gown and glove up to go see him. And they couldn't stop the stomach pains.

So the official-ish reason for all of this was kidney failure due in part to the viral infection, in part to the iodine. We think. And the high blood pressure, apparently that plays havoc on the kidneys as well. And once the kidneys started healing, the severe cramping was attributed to the lack of "movement," shall we say. A myriad of reasons, that hopefully his regular doctor can help us figure out when we go see him this afternoon. Fingers crossed there are no repercussions from this and life can get back to normal shortly.

With that, I leave with you smiles and happy children cuddling with dad.

Quarantine removed - happy face!

Dad's home in time to watch the fourth quarter!! Yay!!

Morning cuddles and cartoons. Happy girl.

Toddler sharing

Toddler: Can I have a candy mom?

Me: Sure honey, but just one.
Toddler: Okay. Thanks mom!

Later, after she has sorted through what is left of the Halloween grossness ...

Toddler: Here mom, I brought you a brown tootsie roll and I get to have a pink one.
Me: Thank you honey, that's sweet of you to share.

Later, after she has finished her pink one and notices my brown one is still sitting next to me ...

Toddler: Mom, how come you haven't eaten your tootsie roll?
Me: Well, actually honey, I don't really like tootsie rolls.
Toddler: Why?
Me: They just aren't my favorite. I'd rather have a chocolate or something if I am going to have a treat.
Toddler: Oh. *pause* Well, do you just want me to eat it then?

Ever the generous gifter she is. :)

Sprechen sie Englisch?

The tween and the husband are in Germany right now without me, having a great time. I'm happy for the bonding experience this is providing them. It's an amazing opportunity for the tween (hubs has been there many times) and I know it will be a life changing trip. Travelling Europe will open up the world to him in a way reading history books will not. I am so jealous proud of him and his adventurous spirit. Germany is one of my favorite places in the world, and I'm not there I'm excited for him to develop the same passion.

We hope to move there someday. The husbands job while he is there is to investigate the reality of moving. I'm pretty sure he's more focused on enjoying all that German beer.

The day they left was a little lonely here. The oldest has gone off to college and is having wonderful adventures, meeting new friends and learning how to conquer the world. With the other two boys gone, it left me and the toddler to hang out for a week. That first night was a little pitiful. Oreos and vodka for dinner helped.

Here are some of the pictures they've texted me, so you can see how much fun they are having without me.

From left to right, the tween is enjoying his first schnitzel (omigod yum). The tween enjoying the Rhine river scenery. Hubs and tween in Nürnberg at Zeppelin Field (Hitler's rally grounds) after touring the Documentation Center (now that is some first person history!)

In the above pics they are getting ready to go up the Zugspitze (the highest peak in Germany) in a cable car. The one on the right, you can sort of see a tiny little spec that is the husband, right by the cross.

To me though, the highlight of this adventure was today. He spent the night with some family friends (their daughter comes out here for a month every summer, so she's like his big sister), then he got to go to school with one of the boys! He got up with them and took the bus to school (mind you, he doesn't actually speak German, and the boys don't speak very good English) and went to four classes - German, English (he said he was the best student in the English class!), Biology ("mom, they only spoke German, it was pretty boring") and Sport (where they played soccer, yay!). We planned ahead and brought some candy that is very American (thank god it's Halloween and the bags of candy are easily found and cheap) to share with the kids in the English class and they were apparently very much looking forward to having him there.

I just think this is so cool. How many kids get to fly all the way to Germany for a sleepover and a one day adventure in a German school?? What memories!!

I got the picture (below) via facebook once he was all settled in, just to let me know he was happy and comfortable.

I love these two!!

Anyway, my boys only have a couple days left. I've mostly gotten over the fact that I'm not there with them, and know I will get to go back one day. Plus, they went shopping at the Adidas outlet today (they are in the town that Adidas and Puma were founded!!), so I know they are bringing me some goodies.

That helps.

Well, that and the vodka. Of course.

Prost!!

Can we get a new car?

Toddler: "Mom, can we get a new car? Because I want one that flies."

Me: "Ummm ..."

Toddler: "So we can have three cars, because I need one that flies. Let's go to the new car station now."

In My Mind

It's World Suicide Prevention Day (you should know, for the record, that I am NOT suicidal). It makes me sad that we have to have a day to acknowledge that this is a horrible thing we must stop. That to somebody, you are everything. It sucks that everyone can't see how important they are.

I am going through some crazy stuff right now and depression and suicidal thoughts are definitely something the doctors are watching me closely for (side effects of the medication - yeah, it's been fun). I've had to check out of my life this last week, which has been tough for all of us. But we'll survive. I am not going crazy. Depression lies. The panic attacks can be managed.

It's all worth it.

Today the bloggess posted this piece, and the picture on the right ... I can't stop looking at it. Click the link. I want to do that, is that weird?

And then the song.

"How strange to see that I don't wanna be the person that I want to be."

She speaks to me.

Also, I love her hair. I'm totally chopping mine off.

Hug someone today. Tell someone they are important. Be there, look around, notice the little things. Live in the moments, not the minutes. Because its all worth it.