My favorite child

My mother-in-law once told me that each of her children were her favorite, but for different reasons. My husband was her favorite one to just curl up with, watch a movie, veg out, the one she loved to relax with. The other two she had equally awesome reasons for classifying as her favorite. I’ve always loved this and now that I have three of my own I totally get it, more so than just with the two boys.

My oldest is my favorite because for a while it was just the two of us. There’s a special bond between a single parent and child and you will be hard pressed to come between us. He keeps me on my toes, keeps me thinking. He’s always been easy to be around (well, except for the teenager part, but he’ll grow out of that), he’s full of personality with a drive to be his own person. We like to say that he was born 40; he’s just always been a little adult. He’s always been someone who questions and analyzes everything until he is satisfied with the answer. He will immerse himself completely in his latest passion until he knows everything there is to know about it, and then he wants to share it with the world. His drive impresses me, even when it annoys the sh*t out of me. I can be real with him (you know, with parent boundaries), I can be honest with him and I appreciate, embrace and totally look forward to the adult he is becoming. Of my three kids, he is my rock. He keeps me grounded and stable and challenges me to be the best that I can be.

My middle one is my favorite because he makes me feel loved every day. He is my cuddler. He wakes me up with hugs and I love yous and that is sometimes the best part of my day. He’s sensitive, compassionate and empathetic. He wants the world to be a happy place and genuinely hurts when he finds reason to believe it isn’t. He’s the one I can curl up on the couch with, or I can grab a ball and play outside with; he helps me relax, sends me positive vibes and gives me the motivation to make it through the worst of days. There is nothing but love and fun and chill coming from him and I can’t get enough of it. He is the only ‘planned’ one of the group, and because it was an actual conversation to try and create him, because I wanted him and loved him before he was even conceived, the special place in my heart for him is solid and whole and filled with a love I can’t describe.

The younger one, she is my princess. She is my favorite because she is my last; an unexpected, wonderful surprise. And because she is my girl. She is the last baby we will have and from her I’ve learned to slow down, embrace the moments and enjoy day to day life. I get to learn and explore our world through toddler eyes again. This time, with the perspective of a mom with kids getting ready to spread their wings, I get it. I get that, even though this particular phase she is in sucks, even though I sometimes struggle to find the joy in parenting when I can’t get her to actually pee in the toilet, I get that I need to stop and take a deep breath and belly laugh with her. Twirl around the kitchen. Dance to the music. Don’t sweat the small stuff. She teaches me to find the happy and the positive at my most frustrated moments.

I love each of my kids with equal passion and fervor, but I also love them each very differently. I embrace their personalities and I love them for who they are, and I love them for the good and the positive that they bring out in me. They have taught me that you can passionately and wholeheartedly love more than one person unconditionally, that you can learn and be inspired by your kids. They are each my favorite child and sometimes that thought makes me so proud I could burst because I have created people that I truly enjoy being around; I am proud of them and they have given me the strength to be proud of me too.