Nice words from the teenager

It's time to take down the teenagers Mother's Day message on my bedroom wall.

I do it with mixed feelings, but it needs to be done. But I don't want to forget it, because it warms my heart, so I am going to memorialize it here on the blog.


The message on the wall:

THIS MOTHERS DAY

I'd like to take a moment to thank you for everything.

Thank you so much. Thank you for accepting us and thank you for being there.

You've done so much for this family: keeping it together, chasing after the toddler, cleaning up lipstick and nail polish stains, listening to my rants and dealing with my solitude. And all without requiring gratitude.

Today, I hope, can be a day where we show you that gratitude that we oftentimes do not; show just how much you matter!

I hope you have a fantastic day.

Love, *the teenager*

Another mother's day in the books

This mother's day thing is not easy. I understand the concept behind it. It’s always important to show your mom how important she is. But asking someone, especially a group of someone’s, especially a group of young someone’s, to give up a whole day, to be selfless for 24 whole hours … that’s a lot to ask. 

When you have young kids, mother’s day is a lot of pressure. It’s a lot of pressure on the kids, because they really WANT to show you how much they love you, but they need to feel special too. It’s a lot of pressure on the husband, because he is trying to give you a break:

"No, you can’t help with breakfast; get back in bed, its mother’s day."

"No, you can’t deal with the cranky kid or change a diaper even though I’m vacuuming, its mother’s day."

"No, you can’t help me clean up the breakfast mess, its mother’s day, go relax."

Relax? How do I do that?

I spent more time than I want to admit wandering around aimlessly wondering what to do with myself.

It started out nice. There was the post it collage of sentiment that the teenager left on the wall. Very sweet, it made me teary.

Then there was the younger two coming in to “wake me up” with flowers and cards; the ten year old in his sing song voice saying happy mother’s day, the younger one super excited saying happy birthday mommy! The breakfast I requested – French toast, link sausage, mimosa – was fabulous.

The kids ate downstairs, watching Nemo. The husband and I ate upstairs and watched the Beastie Boys new Fight For Your Right (Revisited) video (very fun trying to spot all the celebrities).

When you go into a day expecting everyone to cater to you, to make you feel special … well that’s a lot to ask, those are high expectations. You are bound to be disappointed. It’s not about you as a person, this mother’s day. It’s about you as a mom. Hence the name.

I wish I could make everyone else in this house understand, I don’t need a day so out of the ordinary that we are all out of sorts. What I would appreciate more than anything is family time. Time to spend with each of my very independent children. Time watching them play together. Time to enjoy watching them just be happy. Together. A few extra hugs and I love yous during the day. No chores, no homework, no computer time, no single parenting to give the other the day off. That’s too much. Just a normal day, only a step up. I don’t need a Hallmark movie.

Mother’s Day is a contrived Hallmark holiday, as my teenager says (oooh, warm fuzzies). But as I responded back, “that may be, but it’s also nice to know that there is a day set aside that reminds your kids to say I love you and I appreciate you.” We don’t need to contrive anything, we don’t need to be fake. We just need to be a family. A happy family. Just give mom a few extra hugs and kisses.

The flowers are nice too.